tv

tv guns are pointed at my head
tv lies have me misled
tv love to warm my soul
tv family to set my role

im a tv product
im a tv child
im a tv animal
in the tv wild

tv sun to give me light
tv death and burial rights
tv sermons to guide my path
tv gods incur their wrath

im a tv product
im a tv child
im a tv animal
in the tv wild

Stupid Fucking Cigarettes

Stupid fucking cigarettes
Stupid fucking cigarettes
Makes me so damn mad
To watch you trash the world like this
Like some sadistic fad

I don’t care if you wanna smoke
Though the prices you pay are a fucken joke
What I don’t need is the mess
Your used up butts are ugliness

Spring should be a time of hope
But theres one thing with I just cant cope
The piles of winters snow melt away
To reveal a season of sick decay

You harp on people who don’t recycle
You want fast food chains to be liable
But when it comes to your own turn
You throw it down after every burn

Stupid fucking cigarettes
Stupid fucking cigarettes
Makes me so damn mad
To watch you trash the world like this
It really is too bad

and this is my life... a collection of my old writing from about 5 or 6 years ago

and this is my life
this is my biological & spiritual liberty
quarter of a century
soon to be at least
with every thought of my future i see myself holding death's hand
it tells me that i am alive
death does not exist yet
but like all things dead it will eventually be born
maybe it's why newborns cry


when economy becomes an art,
a proliferation of tyranny
streamlined batteries in designer clothes
doesn't sound original
but may be authentic
they will be super chips
sipping on a digital latte
101101 with 0010 to drink please
would you like that 0010 in a
1, 11, or 111
i suggest the 111, it's the best value
there will always be a price to pay


drug your neighbour
it'll be the best thing you could do
(patriot!)
there will be less terrorists if are there are less people


stories are told under countless points of view...through one pair of
eyes looking at the same horizon, one could develop a wide array of
opinions...whether it be personal, economical, physical, biological
social, psychological, etc...even the historical account of
anything...time is indeed a lovely dimension...there is never a good
reason to be bored...you just may be blind


I'm standing in a meadow between the absolute and relativity
a definite maybe is slapped on my face
the contents of my pockets are vaguely obscure
my lungs exchange hypocrisy for irony with my heart
while my brain takes animals to the zoo



never take for granted what you tell yourself
it may be all you got
failure can help you as much as success
you can't escape it


i don't mean to be mean...i'm just empty...fill me to the brim with
cynicism and i'll drown you with deceit...but not on purpose...you made
me this way remember
from down here i see everything in their faces...the sadness they hide
from their god
i bring out the pure unhindered fear of absurdity
it can't be happening to me!
where did i go wrong!
then they pity themselves and go to all measures to understand their
unhappiness when i could have told them all along
it's just a shift in the balance...always comes with a change of direction



outta this atmosphere
like you took our air
i'll disenfranchise you from
your golden hair and silver wings
an old grey heart
with a string of diamonds
reflecting the same grey
into a billion greyer, smaller hearts
unable to accept
where is the truth
in a billion perspectives
that aren't able to accept
heart becomes the diamond
hard
cold
disenchanting
so you take a billion hearts
from a billion slaves
still desiring the diamond
more diamond = more reflections = more hearts = more slaves
further isolated with every desire for the diamond
you are the broken heart of humanity


we don't need tour buses
we need shelter
we need public services
legalize marijuana!
down with development
do they show off the poor?
the garbage
the developing area
blah
it's covering up
the bullshit of elite factions
gonna spread infections
for the good of the virus
its destruction
not development
its de-evolution
not progress

you know they are looking at the moon because they can't look at each other
when does an endless summer begin
confide in the detonation...let the sequence be your guide
happy couples are jerks...jerkin each other off
never sit behind a happy couple on a bus
only sit behind an unhappy couple if it's a relatively short trip
listen to yourself (trust your instincts)
never sit in front of a girl on a cell phone
well at least i have food
there is no wonka factory is there


this is my dialogue with my world
had a friend
the shit used to be real
now it's all traffic
waiting for a change
to be better than we used to be


and here's the silent soldier
to come to the king's call
the sharpie of the night
what a magnificent instrument
versatile & cool!
to enjoy observing & sensing
the unwritten dialogue of the night
pissed off guy is awesome
now he's broke...played out
where's the fucken bus already
oh here it is
i don't see much of a horizon
but i know it's there
but then my contacts are dry


i do not dig the facist beliefs that one person can be overall better
than another
i do not buy into false ideals set by falser minds to make a falsest profit
this world gets pushed around by conservatives and creates fucking lunatics
let it spin on its own
don't interfere
corporations, profit machines, set the standards to our social economy
control depriving us in believing that we have the freedom to choose
the freedom to speak our minds without being labeled and dismissed


oh those moody days
twisted staircases
the shades of grey
dancing on their faces
we come out of the woodwork
exposed in a drenched spirit
every style seems tacky
the sun is a cruel concept
signs look like they've been there forever

Minding Eternity pt. 12

12- as it was in the beginning…it was in the end

The boundaries humankind breached: Chemical, physical, psychological, moral even.  What is there of morality to a species hardly even able to control their own minds let alone destinies.  Individuals floating in a matrix of gaseous compounds either meant to harm or be absolutely necessary for survival.   Ambivalently hurtling through space upon a nuclear reactor held together by its own mass.

Driven to improve, the genetic code is a machine of self-perpetuation and the basis of human life.  It is only fair to assume we follow our blueprint specs. Is that God or just good sense?  Either way it seems like we have no choice.  Furthermore, to attain means of exploring our human potential isn’t necessarily clear on the point whether it should be a collective effort or one of an individual.

I left Earth and her solar system behind before I could ever find out.  Humanity, I presume, died out on its own account.   Whether or not they took our home planet with them to oblivion, I cannot say.

It has been millennia and it still remains a mystery.  From my first biological inception to my last atomic diffusion there is no way to understand how it could have been.  Whether humanity deserved this gift of self-perpetuation is unsure given the circumstances, but even if just one of us survived to eternity, maybe that was the goal.

Of all the wonders known to even the cleverest of us, there are none that compare to the complexity of the human mind.  Built upon trillions of cells that are constantly going through life and death themselves, we continue to negotiate our way through our own physical realm of life and death.

My consciousness, if one can call it that, has followed the fateful path of humanity, seeking the limits only to find there aren’t any, calling into question the very essence of mortality and if whether we could have ever truly died in the first place.  All the rest of the species have achieved what I have eluded, the final frontier, and here I remain, minding eternity.

Minding Eternity pt. 11

11 -  a mid-winters night

What is something that we know we wear but yet we cannot distinguish from our environment.  It’s the idealistic camouflage we exhibit to cope with our problems until it is time for action.

My presence in the sub-arctic compound was in no way a secret, there was just little anyone could do about it.  My bionite communications relay emitted the appropriate signals on all frequencies, as well as emitting a high intensity light beam to guide the humans to my location.  I did not wish to come into contact with too many people at first, but I needed it to be on my terms.  Enlightened as they were, these people still held a lower regard for technology, especially one of which had almost entirely crippled their world.

To my relief a small contingent of humans began to approach. Countless memory banks conjured up images of a primitive culture and I observed the progress of this distant cousin of mine. Riding sleighs, pulled by packs of dogs, the humans formed a wide berth around me.  Weapons were drawn but without the aid of advanced tracking systems. I was being protected against by technology almost unheard of in this age, yet quite reminiscent of my own time on Earth. Considering the rudimentary forms of their weapons and transportation I could not determine if the humans had any advanced personal communications devices.  I would have verbally communicated with them but I was still yet buried in the ice and did not wish to startle anybody with my appearance just yet.

After several attempts at electronic communication it became apparent that the standard radio signal that I was emitting was being received.  The pace of my apparent welcoming committee slowed considerably.  As I had risen from the  depths of my centuries old unconscious state, to returning to Earth from the depths of space, I thus ascended towards humanity once again from the depths of the sub-arctic ice. I rose from the crater that formed when I landed, steam billowing, yet subsiding, as the cold air took control once again.  The fog thinning ever more, the humans dispatched two representatives to find out what I was, and how I came to know their communications protocols. My sensors scanned the heavens, the stars shone fiercely in the night sky, and I almost believed I was back in space.

As remote as this colony was, news of the cancer that affected the original nanites had spread just fast enough so that the entire planet was aware of their impending fate.  With so much being dependent on the highly revered nano-technology, there was little anybody could do for each other.  From navigation and communication satellites to prosthetic limbs and organs, everybody was affected.  Most had perished, and more would too.

How perplexed, I could imagine, that the humans were the moment they realized I could only have been constructed of some sort of nano-composite material in order to support the type of technology I represented.  The two representatives told me of how most was lost but that there was still a chance for a new start for their race.  I was not sure at first if I could go by their judgment alone so I explained to them that they could return to their previous state of advancement with my new bionite compound, but they would not allow it.

I told them of the contingent of scientists left behind in the lunar research labs to continue their tireless search for the answers to the universe.   I told them that I would establish a communication relay in order to at least connect the two last tribes of humanity.  There was more I wanted to do but it wasn’t my world anymore.  I knew they would still create the same mistakes of the past but I still had a hope for them.  It was my last shred of humanity.

Humans have always prevailed in their sense of freedom by rebelling against their captors and enemies. Yet when bred into believing in a sense of freedom they become docile and apathetic, unable to grasp that everything they built themselves upon never really belonged to them in the first place.  Constructs of camouflage, enact on the present without recognizing the consequences from idealistic viewpoints, not distinguishing ourselves from anything else. Perpetuating the cycle of needing to be reborn, in captivity or free, this is our evolution.

Minding Eternity pt. 10

10 - a head in the clouds

 Humanity, fact or fiction?   Have we always possessed the tools to separate us from all other life forms, or have we limped along, with technology as our crutch.  Using modified forms of enslavement under the guise of civilization we have justified our course of action to relentlessly chase our goal of progress.  Yet what happens when we are left to start over again?  The bridges of the past burn at our heels, only to chase us further, into the dark abyss, the future.  Humanity, or the faint semblance of what it once recognized itself as, had been deconstructed nanite by nanite.

The line had been drawn.  Humanity had been separated completely from where it had stood, save for one.  My return to Earth was beyond all experience and knowledge.  Fueled by extrapolation and the consideration of every predictable factor, I planned my trajectory.  The knowledge I had accumulated from Earth told me that the least technologically developed area was a small colony of people who inhabited the south pole.  Despite the harsh climate and the need to depend on technology to keep their facilities running, the people who lived there carried a more purist philosophy to living.  Nanotechnology had mostly only gone so far as to create a more viable environment. This was to be my destination, if I were to 
find anybody who had not been affected as badly, and whom I could work with to begin restoring order.

Finalizing my calculations, I began the countdown to launch into space.  There was no need for a shuttle, I was to be my own transport back to Earth.  The bionite shielding supported all my life functions and with newly developed ion thrusters I began my silent trip home. I bid a last farewell to the scientists who had initiated my whole resurrection and who unknowingly gave me the power to save what was left of our species.  I promised them a safe return home once I had completed my task on Earth, however none wanted to leave.  So afraid of what they would find, so afraid of the possible changes to their culture, they decided to stay on the moon facility to continue their work free from the technological prejudices of a scarred society.

Despite the enormous undertaking I had begun, what I was least prepared for was the new senses the bionite technology had given me.  In space, without all the subtle distractions of the confines of the lab, I could not imagine the range of anomalies and energy that I was able to detect.  The spectrum of the universe lay before me.  As dark and alienating as space had once seemed, it now was illuminated with the dialogue of the stars.  This was the moment that I truly pitied the rest of my species, and as soon as my journey had begun, so it had ended.  The Earth loomed before me as I began my descent into destiny.

As I began my approach vector, I scanned the south-pole for a possible settlement.  I detected a small grouping of buildings consisting of a low-technological output and programmed the ion thrusters to guide me within a few kilometers.  As much as I wanted to make contact with the settlement's inhabitants I knew that I was no longer just another human and as much as I would be alien to them, so they would be to me.

Minding Eternity pt. 9

9 – new natural

It was only a matter of time before the next step of humanity would take place beyond the boundaries of its own home planet.  Among the stars, forged by destiny, the shape of the future lay in a microscopic compound composed of the organic and inorganic.  This was the unknown factor waiting to be discovered. 
Biologically resistant cells coupled with technologically versatile nanites began to learn and adapt to the formerly unstoppable techno-plague.  I was able to regain most of my cognitive abilities and sensory functions within seconds yet the facility around me was still in a state of deterioration.  The only way to avoid disaster was to contact the scientists within their sanctuary so they could aid me in creating and transmitting more of what I could only then logically describe as ‘bionites’.

After successfully contacting the humans they began to take samples of the newly formed bionites so they could administer them throughout the compound.  Bit by bit the facility regained its composure and hope seemed to loom once again on the horizon.

Also riding on the horizon was the brilliant blue glow of the Earth.  How quiet and unchanged it looked from such a distance, yet total chaos still held its population in its unrelenting grip.  There was much debate among the scientists about how the Earth could be saved, but none could ascertain whether or not a sample of the bionites could successfully reach the home planet without the required probe succumbing to the effect of the cancer.

The idea was then put forth to send me since I presumably was the source of the bionites and could theoretically continue to produce more as I encountered the effected nanites.  Still severely handicapped by the techno-plague, I was unable to move around due to the deterioration of my prosthetic body, but work began immediately to replace the functions I had so recently lost.  Furthermore, efforts had been made to make sure the entire lunar facility, and its tenants, had been subjected to the bionites.

Signals were sent ahead to inform the rest of humanity of the new developments despite the presumed secrecy of the lunar facility.  The real problem, however, was that it was unknown if anybody could receive the message, let alone respond. 

As I prepared for my journey back to Earth I wondered how much of it I would even recognize.  Encoded satellite signals decrypted through nanite-shielding was one thing, but to experience a planet that I had been separated from for such a duration was another thing altogether.  I realized that despite the advances I had achieved there was still a part of me that would always be human.

One wouldn’t think twice about a salmon instinctively returning to where it began by risking life and limb in order to preserve the cycle of life, but what would one say to a toaster?

Minding Eternity pt. 8

8 – solve for x

The x, the unknown, factors that exist backstage to this play we call life, the hidden forces that impact our reality as much as we do ourselves.  Without such, all would be apparent, and the drive to learn and grow would never be. 

Within their newly built sanctuary, the humans had bought themselves some more time.  I was not to be spared so easily since I myself was obviously a hindrance due to the composition of my prosthetic body and casing.  As vulnerable as I was, however, I still contributed all my abilities to finding a cure.  The scientists pleaded with me to cast away the technology that had rendered me conscious and able once again so that I may survive within a much more primitive state, but I knew I could not go back considering all that I had achieved. I knew there must be a way.

As the cancer started to find its way through the outer shielding it began to spread faster.  My nanite-infused brain was able to process time in fractions of milliseconds, yet as each micro-moment passed I was closer and closer to my imminent destruction. 

Before retreating, the scientists uploaded to me a database that held a great deal of all the knowledge collected over the centuries of human existence.  Hoping that there would be some key that was missed before, I sifted through the most advanced developments in medicine, and technology.  Despite relentless calculations, inexhaustible permutations, and divine extrapolations, it seemed that nothing within humanity’s experience had the capability of solving such a puzzle.  It was the first time since my technological resurrection that I felt so utterly defenseless.   The unknown that I had searched for had eluded even me.  There was no hope.

Like helpless prey in the den of a hungry predator, I was left to sit prone, ready to be engulfed within the confines of history.   My own prosthetic body could feel the cancer close around the lab I was situated in as the jaws of inevitability were closing in around me. 

Bit by bit I was being dismantled.  Just as what had been happening on Earth, I too was succumbing to the same fate.  Mistakenly I thought I had progressed beyond my fellow brethren and was forced to watch my own destruction.  As the cancer spread up through the nano-prosthesis, I was placed once again in the helpless position I had been in.  No longer was I able to move around or have full composure of my senses, yet curious enough the ability to sustain consciousness and thought remained. 

This did not make any sense to what I had expected to happen.  Everything that was composed of the nanites had up until then been deactivated, yet the nano-matrix forming the link between the nanites and my brain remained resilient.  There was an unknown present.